jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
