I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Randomize
