that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
We are two peas in an std pod
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Couch. On fire.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
