Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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