Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
