I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
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