i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
How naked do you want me to be?
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