I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I'm like, not good at living.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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