Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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