'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Randomize
