normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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