it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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