Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
