I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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