What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
