It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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