Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
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