WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
