So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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