Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Randomize
