no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
