Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
His hands were made for my vagina.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
