If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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