erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Randomize
