Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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