I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
