Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
