Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
