Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
