You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
