you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
