I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
i drank out of a bidet.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
