Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
