They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
