Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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