Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
God, you're like boner-b-gone
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize