he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
