I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
