fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Who died my cat blue again?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
