So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
i dont even know how to be here
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
