you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
