When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
