i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
