she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
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