:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
