He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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