I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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