Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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