jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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