I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
