3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Having a random hookup so left but love u
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
