it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
