He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
It's not a walk of shame if you run
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
