New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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