If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
