worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
