How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
you are never too drunk for berry picking
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
