Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
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