Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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