You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Randomize
