i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
They left me at home... I'm a liability
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
