My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
