those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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