Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
