I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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