He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
